My thoughts and feelings on the Connecticut school shooting.

Here is the link:http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/15/nyregion/adam-lanza-an-enigma-who-is-now-identified-as-a-mass-killer.html?_r=0

December 15- This first paragraph I am adding now.  The rest below was written last night.  I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I don't condone the actions of this young man in Connecticut.  I feel horrible that someone could even do such a thing.  I want to make it very clear that killing is not an option in this world and there are no rewards for it.  There is definitely no reward for suicide either.  This kind of event brought out some bad feelings in me, just like it did for everyone else.  Of course, my condolences go out to the loved ones of those who were lost in that tragedy.  I don't speak on behalf of everyone on the spectrum or anyone else either.  I speak for myself.  I can assure you that some of my thoughts could reflect how others on the spectrum might be feeling after that.  Furthermore, don't jump to conclusions yet as to what made the kid decide to do it.  The truth is that noone will ever know for sure.  I simply can't have empathy for someone who kills though.

I want to give you an idea of how I feel about todays shootings in Connecticut.  I just read that the shooter was apparently diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.  This is not a good thing for anyone diagnosed with it or anywhere else on the Autism Spectrum.  The media may play up on the fact that people who they perceive to be disabled or diseased are dangerous people.  I believe this will have a very dangerous impact as to how normal people in America and maybe up here in Canada will perceive people on the spectrum.  This will have a dangerous impact on how people on the spectrum will be treated.

There will be a stigma that will follow with this that some will have a hard time escaping.  For a lot of people on the spectrum who worked hard and fought their whole lives to be treated with respect and dignity, I can probably speak for all of us when I say we don't deserve such treatment.  There are a lot of misguided people in this world regardless of how a person thinks, or feels, or no matter what their spirituality is.  One bad apple does not speak for the rest of us.

For people to believe someone like me has no empathy and is dangerous enough to kill is hurtful.  Do not even think for a second that referring to my previous blogs on here about my meltdowns as a pre-teen is proof that we are dangerous people.  I got all the help I could get and I am thankful for it.  I feel horrible that someone thinks its okay to go and kill people.  Believe me when I say this, I was never trying to kill someone in any of my meltdown stories.  I just wanted to be left alone when I got picked on and bullied.  Think of how you like to be treated and empathy becomes easier (you see people getting treated badly, you can empathize because you have been there).  I would not say that all people with Aspergers are uncomfortable.  That is not the case at all.  I can speak for myself a little when I say I am a little slow.  I am sometimes unforgiving of the way I am treated and that is due to the fact that I don't want people who treat me like crap staying in my life.

On a side note, I remember being picked in on high school to a degree and there was once a rumour that people started that said I was a person who had a hit list and was going to shoot up the school.  This really did hurt my feelings and I remember confronting the person that started the rumour when I found them out.  I asked that person to stop and they did.  What they told me in response though was "You can't be mean to your friends."  From that point forward I remembered who my friends were.  I had fun with my friends.

Aside from the details that people have about the kid.  I was definitely more social than the media reports of the kid.  People at high school knew who my friends were.  They knew I had connected with people.  To look at me like a person who has absolutely noone is hurtful.  I have family, I talk to them all the time.  I have close friends from Peterborough that live in Ottawa.  I have pictures with them on my facebook.  Bottom line is simple.  Everyone wants to be happy.  Everyone needs reasons to be happy.  I have my reasons.  I also prefer moments of isolation as well to take care of me and recharge my batteries.  Doesn't mean I am looking for an excuse to do something bad.  The truth is, I am misunderstood and can be very confusing.

One bad apple does not speak for the rest of us.  One bad apple can fall far away from the tree.  One bad apple does not define the tree it fell from either.  Remember that.